Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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