If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
