yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
