yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
