How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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