I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
