I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
