worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize