You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
