I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
