i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
