I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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