Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
