I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
