It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
