I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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