Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
