So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
