Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
