If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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