i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize