what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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