i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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