My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
