Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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