return my video game
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
