It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
