Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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