Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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