So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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