Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
