How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
