Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
