with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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