his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
