Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do vagina's smell?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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