Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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