you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
