got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
