So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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