The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
