belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize