Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have tasted many bathrooms
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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