sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
