so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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