Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
