it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
