He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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