you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
