the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
