I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
