there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
