I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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