dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
