M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
