I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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