i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Did I show you my penis last night?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
