also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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