sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize