I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I lost the right to judge tonight
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
