yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize